Sorry for the poor header image. It’s roughly 2am at the time writing this and my design skills are clearly shaken up with all the booze flowing through this body of mine. Anyways.. What was the best thing before sliced bread? Someone asked me this the other day. I didn’t have a clear answer so I though I’d find one. After countless hours of scouring the internet, doing extremely elaborate and perplexing chemistry experiments, and whacking off here and there, here is that answer.
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Hello AFTM Readers, I just want to say thanks to all of your support with AFTM reaching the Digg Front Page! I feel like I finally beat the final boss of the internet after doing so. To show my appreciation, I have scoured the internet for many, many minutes to put this pic collection together for you. It’s Hot Girls with Lollipops and Popsicles! (Beware: May contain some bananas)
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Okay readers, Christmas season is upon us once again. The white shit from the sky is falling, and Christmas music is annoying the shit out of my ear drums. If you can’t tell how much I love this season from the previous sentence then go drown an elf, I cant stand them, and I HATE this time of the god dam year. The thing I hate most about Christmas besides the caroling, candy canes, and dogs with antlers, is the Holiday Gift giving. Okay dogs with antlers are pretty sick, I give you that one. But shopping sucks. Period. Trying to enter and exit a store is impossible without the hassle of standing in a line, or being bumped into a hundred times by a snotty, eight year old yelling for Tickle My Elmo. And that’s not even the worst part about shopping. How are you supposed to know what to get everyone? Parents easy. Dad gets rum. Mom gets chocolates. Siblings? Brothers get weed. Sisters get gift card to (Fill in favorite make up store here). But now the toughest one of all. Your girlfriend. And for that very reason, I have created the flow chart below. Good luck fellas.
1,834,639 Guys now know the perfect gift to get their girls.
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I’m sorry people, my day has been ruined. I saw this picture online and there is NO WAY that this was Chuck Norris. The only possibility that it was actually him would be if he round-house kicked that Ford from Japan… He kicks so hard that if you dream of being round-housed by him you WILL NOT wake up.
39 People die in their dreams from being round-housed kicked every month.
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Hey Guys and Girls, The Middle East is holding their 43rd Annual Camel Pinata Festival today! I’m not sure what actually comes out when you beat it but I’m pretty sure its not candy. Probably just spit and shit but some could hope for something better(Jessica Alba or a shitload of cute bunnies). Anyways have a great week everybody! More to follow, check back soon!
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