Sorry for the poor header image. It’s roughly 2am at the time writing this and my design skills are clearly shaken up with all the booze flowing through this body of mine. Anyways.. What was the best thing before sliced bread? Someone asked me this the other day. I didn’t have a clear answer so I though I’d find one. After countless hours of scouring the internet, doing extremely elaborate and perplexing chemistry experiments, and whacking off here and there, here is that answer.
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Hey Bro, I know you ladies were thrilled at my Top 9 Things to NOT to do While Stoned, so I decided to do the opposite. Thats right, Top 9 Things to Do WHILE Stoned!
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Happy Wednesday Bitches, what’s a better way to start a Wednesday than a zombie takeover? I can only name one thing myself, well two if you count blowjobs, a way to KILL THEM! And that’s the very information I lay before your eyes. Here are my top nine ways to kill a mother-f*cking zombie.
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Now I know what you are thinking when you clicked on this article.. What could there possibly be in the world that wouldn’t be more awesome after getting high? Well after hours of research I have come up with a list. It’s not long because there’s really not much that doesn’t become instantly cool but here it is…
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Okay readers, Christmas season is upon us once again. The white shit from the sky is falling, and Christmas music is annoying the shit out of my ear drums. If you can’t tell how much I love this season from the previous sentence then go drown an elf, I cant stand them, and I HATE this time of the god dam year. The thing I hate most about Christmas besides the caroling, candy canes, and dogs with antlers, is the Holiday Gift giving. Okay dogs with antlers are pretty sick, I give you that one. But shopping sucks. Period. Trying to enter and exit a store is impossible without the hassle of standing in a line, or being bumped into a hundred times by a snotty, eight year old yelling for Tickle My Elmo. And that’s not even the worst part about shopping. How are you supposed to know what to get everyone? Parents easy. Dad gets rum. Mom gets chocolates. Siblings? Brothers get weed. Sisters get gift card to (Fill in favorite make up store here). But now the toughest one of all. Your girlfriend. And for that very reason, I have created the flow chart below. Good luck fellas.
1,834,639 Guys now know the perfect gift to get their girls.
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Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Cartoon II is finally here peeps! Enjoy:
A few of our male readers MUST have experienced this at least once in their life. I know all our girlfriends are peaceful, non nagging angels who believe their the center of the universe and deserve all the attention in the world, but come on ladies.
4,876 Men now have a line to use when their GF is nagging them for attention.
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Good Morning Afewtoomanians, I have a special for you today! After hours upon hours of research and performing long mind numbing algorithms and calculations of the female brain (Mainly drinking beer), I have come up with a complete list which compares the type of car you own, and the type of girl you can pick up in one. Don’t believe me? Read more..
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I’m sorry people, my day has been ruined. I saw this picture online and there is NO WAY that this was Chuck Norris. The only possibility that it was actually him would be if he round-house kicked that Ford from Japan… He kicks so hard that if you dream of being round-housed by him you WILL NOT wake up.
39 People die in their dreams from being round-housed kicked every month.
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Listen up people of Afewtoomania! I got a little surprise for you bitches, it’s AFTM’s very first web comic! And without further ado… Here she is:
Please let me know your thoughts in the comments. If you like it, expect more to follow!
1,369 Men will now carry large lollipops when they go out to bars.
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Hey Guys and Girls, The Middle East is holding their 43rd Annual Camel Pinata Festival today! I’m not sure what actually comes out when you beat it but I’m pretty sure its not candy. Probably just spit and shit but some could hope for something better(Jessica Alba or a shitload of cute bunnies). Anyways have a great week everybody! More to follow, check back soon!
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