In the mean time, here is some of the stuff I meant to post but never got around to it.

Woman falls on the orange line in Boston.

Scott did the same thing once after a RedSox game. Except it was the Green Line, and he didn’t fall. He was drunk and decided to cross the tracks to talk to these girls. He nearly touched the third rail, and almost couldn’t climb up the other side to get to the next platform. I still think he was Drunker than this bitch though. Below is a pic I snapped with my phone of him sleeping on the train afterwards. He’s a douche when he’s blacked out, much better when passed out.

Drunk Guy opens bottle of wine with no cork screw.

Say whatever you want about the French, I do, fucking frogs. But only a Frenchman’s love for wine could give birth to this method for opening a corked bottle. Sure beats doing what my wineo GF does, which is basically breaking the cork up in to pieces small enough to fall in the bottle. On a side note, wine is best served with a side of drunk woman. After a few glasses there is nothing they wont do. Nothing!

Dick Towel

I love this fucking show. The only thing that could make it better would be if it was called It’s Always Sunny In South Boston instead of Philly.

Drunk forklift driver ruins mass quantities of vodka.

NuffCed!!!

And now some Late News!!

You Could Soon See Beer with Alcohol percentages up to 16%!!

Ok, not much to say here, but still worthy of a little Buzz. Basically, many states are allowing more alcohol in beer, and that’s always a good thing. USAToday has the scoop here.

1) Amazingly Drunk Driver

Click more to see the rest of the videos

2) Drunk Russian on drugs gets pulled over

3) Drunk Russian fights a tree

4) This guy cracks me up

5) Two drunks one stump

6) Drunk Russian with clothing issues

7) This guy is shattered!

Two dirty Lithuanians.AKA Scott and his cousin Joe

9) Drunk Diver

10) Bottle Break Fail!

11) HAHAHAHAHA

12) Russian Bath

13) You can’t have a drunk post without SLUTS!!

14) And another Drunk whore

15) Jesus! Another wasted drunk driver

16) One last driver, I swear.

17) Then we’ll end with some Russian kid chugging vodka

Leave a comment if your outraged at me, or if you hate Russians. Just not if your Lithuanian!!

Hey Afewtoomanians, I got a drink for you this week, you won’t be walking after a few of these so take it easy with this one. It’s very sweet, and very strong. A perfect combination if you ask me. Anyways, let jump into this bitch..

Ingredients:
1 Shot Southern Comfort
1 Shot Bacardi Rum
1 Shot Amaretto
1 Cup Pineapple Juice
1 Dash Grenadine

Directions:
Take all of the ingredients above, throw them in a glass. Add ice for character. These are actually called Liquid Cocaine for a reason. One, because they’re expensive. And Two, because once you finish one, you want another one immediately they’re THAT good.

By the way, if you want to play with your own magic eight ball go here. And don’t forget ladies and gentlemen to send us your favorite drinks here: Drinks@AFewTooMany.com, maybe you’ll be lucky enough to see one get posted. Have a great week and check back soon!

Before I begin, I should warn you that I thought the last drinking game I posted about (Suits) was the most lethal drinking game I have ever played. However, I now realize that this gem will knock your liver on its ass, and will get you wasted quicker than beer turns to piss. On that note, on to the game!

What you Need:

Beer, and a shitload of it.
Table, so everyone can sit
Deck of playing cards

Set up

Everyone one sits in a circle with their drink and one player is designated as the dealer. All players must refer to them as “Dealer of Death”; if someone calls them another name they must take a 5 second drink penalty. (For the edgy-er/more drunk people this can also be substituted as a dare)

Game Play

Once everyone is seated with their drink the dealer deals the first card to the player on their left. The dealer then continues dealing the cards out clockwise until they run out. If at any time the card that was just dealt matches the card on either side in number or suit those cards become active, if a newly activated card now matches the card on either side of it in number or suit those cards also become active and so on; the players who are showing active cards must drink for a number of seconds equal to their card value (Aces count as 14 seconds, Kings 13, Queens 12 etc.). This creates a chain effect.

For example, if player 1 has an ace of spades, player 2 has a six of spades, player 4 has a six of diamonds, player 5 has a ten of diamonds and player 6 has a jack of clubs, and then player 3 is dealt a six of clubs then all of the players except for 6 would have to drink for the number of seconds showing on their card. The logic would be the six of clubs makes player 2 and player 4′s sixes active, players 2′s six of spades matches suits with player 1′s ace of spades so it becomes active and player 4′s six of diamonds matches suits with player 5′s ten of diamonds so it becomes active.

The dealer of death is responsible for counting out the seconds, in the event the dealer is drinking the dealer must keep track by tapping the table until they finish.

Conclusion

This can be a tough game to grasp, but once you play it a couple times you will pick it up. The more people you play with the crazier the chains will be and the crazier/drunker you will get. This is definitely an extremely fun party game, but it would be kinda of hard to play at a bar. This is one you will not walk away sober from. Have fun playing! If you guys have any other games you would like to see posted feel free to email me at: Scott@afewtoomany.com

What up bitches, I haven’t sweetened your week in a while with a new cocktail recipe so I’m giving you a good one tonight. It’s called 16 Goats in a Tree. No I am not making this up, and no I don’t know the inventor, but I do know that this is an awesome fucking cocktail. It’s a little on the fruity side, but enjoyable none the less.

Ingredients:
2 shots Blue Alize
2 shots Peach Schnapps
2 cups Strawberry Kool-Aid

Directions:
Take all of the ingredients above and mix them in a glass over ice. Garnish with a cherry and umbrella (Note: Umbrella is only for the women readers, if you are a man and put a god dam umbrella in your drink AFewTooMany.com is NOT responsible for the name calling, harassing, punches to the face or kicks to the balls you WILL receive). On another note, it’s a pretty strong drink but, there’s a pretty overwhelming fruit flavor which kicks the taste buds a little more than the booze so it goes down smooth.

Also, while writing this article if found some sweet pics, there ARE actually tree climbing goats no joke!
Goats in a Tree, Even More Goats in a Tree, SHITLOAD of Goats in a Tree! Seriously, what do they plan to accomplish by fucking climbing a god dam tree? THEY’RE GOATS!

And don’t forget ladies and gentlemen to send us your favorite drinks here: Drinks@AFewTooMany.com, maybe you’ll be lucky enough to see one get posted. Have a great week and check back soon!

The night started off like all other debacles. We had a hotel room in Portland ME. We were primed up and ready to drink. Hilarity ensued. This is our story through the pictures I found on my camera after.

What your witnessing above is the first and last sober picture of us. Unfortunately it was only Scott and Shawn, my pretty mug was left out. We were at a bar called 3 Dollar Deweys and this is where I knew we would love the shit out of Portland. The bartender served me a drink with an orange slice, and I casually said I do not need the orange next time. He then took orange with his hands, yelled “FUCK THIS ORANGE!!” and threw it off the wall. It stuck! We all spent the next few minutes laughing as the orange slugged it’s way down the wall to the bottom.

Portland is fucking awesome. If you live in NE you have probably been to Boston to drink. Boston sucks, bouncers they’re are so uptight and ready to toss you out at the first sign of trouble. Portland is the ANTI-Boston, where anything is and everything is OK. We spent the next few hours hopping from packed bar, to even more packed bar. I was high-fiving every bouncer, security guard, and bartender. Try that in Boston.(Side story: After the Celtics won the Championship in 2007, I was at Faneuil Hall in the riots. The Boston police had to clear the streets in full riot gear with the 3 foot wood clubs in hand. Long story short I was drunk and tried to high-five one, he smacked me with his club.)

This one bar had a lot of cups… Ya things started getting hazy. I remember it was a college Kid bar and EVERY guy wore a baseball hat. Typical of rural kids who went away to U-Maine. We decided to adventure further and walk along the coast.

On the walk Scott took some pictures (below) of The Hoff, and a pink duck. At this point who fucking knows how loaded we were. I bet the duck did.

We hit almost every bar in the area. Shawn climbed some street signs and the bars got more sketchy as the night when on. We still loved every second. We felt invincible. We settled in at some ghetto bar where we were practically the only white people. Shawn danced his ass off while Scotty and I got shitty.

I drank so much that the picture below was taken right before I took a shot of Jager and shot it back up. I never throw up, so that speaks mountains on how much we’ve had to drink by then. Another reason I love Portland. No one even cared I had just spewed on the bar. The Bartender STILL FUCKING SERVED ME AFTER!!!

Now were toast. Shawn and I are piss drunk, Scotts blacked out. There is always trouble when Scott blacks out. Trouble, hilarity, and awesomeness. but mostly just trouble. Keep reading it gets WAY better.

Scott was trying to tell me something. Or make out with me. Either way he was way to close. He then decided to dance with Shawn on a statue, or art piece, fuck if I know what it was. What I do know is that picture came out awesome.

This is where things go very wrong. Scott started getting uncooperative and Shawn and I were far to drunk to question it. Below is map of downtown Portland. Thanks to GPS on my Blackberry and Google Latitude I was able to create an approximate route on which we traveled. I’m not sorry if it looks half assed, I didn’t feel like putting effort into it. If it bothers you you can eat a bag of dicks.

The Pink was our hotel, and the red line represents our drunken path through the bars which Google placed with letters. The green line is what happened next. We fallowed Scotty back to our hotel. What we didn’t know was that Scotty was just wandering aimlessly. The Blue Square was a hockey rink. The Cumberland County Civic Center.

The picture above was taken from google. The reason this building is interesting is because Scotty walked around it trying every door as if it would be open at 2 or 3 AM (estimate). He walked up those stairs to the right and it just so happened one of the doors was unlocked. We were so drunk we thought nothing of it. We walked in to find no one was there and the doors to the ice were WIDE OPEN. Again we were so drunk that no one even thought twice about going out there. I can remember thinking “Fuck we have to cross this ice to get to the Hotel, that sucks.” Seriously… Who the fuck would think that? Shawn thought differently. As soon as he saw the ice he full sprinted and slid across like Bruce Springsteen at the Super Bowl halftime show.

We fucked around on the ice like school girls laughing and sliding for what seemed like hours. It was most likely 2-3 minutes. We finally caught the attention of the cleaning crew in the seats who yelled at us to “get the fuck out of there!”
We kindly flipped them off and crossed to the other side, LATERALLY. Here we went out the exit the zamboni uses and slipped outside just to the left of where the truck is parked in the pic below.

I wish I could say that was the only dumb thing that happened. If you notice the map, we left the rink and headed east. While Shawn and I walked on the sidewalk, Scott thought it would be fun to walk on the grass. We heard Scott Yell, then heard nothing. Upon turning around we noticed Scott was no where to be found. We investigated like inebriated Sherlock Holmes’s. It turns out the grass was soaked. It also had a 60 Degree slope on the other side that created a slip and slide for drunks. We carefully made our way down because although he was trying, Scotty could not stand long enough to traverse the drunk fun slide. Shawn made it half way down before I lost my footing and slid both into him first, then into Scott and his mud puddle. We spent the next 45 minutes chasing Scott and dragging him back to the hotel. That path is represented by the brown line. Keep reading, there’s more.

Shawn and I slept. Scott stole my bathing suit and decided to go for a swim at 4am. The pool was closed so he figured the sauna room might be nice. He fell asleep! He woke up several hours later sweating bullets when the cleaner came in. Parched and confused he tried to go back to the room. Turns out the asshole forgot to take a key. He claims he banged on the door, but Shawn and I were out cold. He had to go to the lobby in a bathing suit and prove he was in fact the person who rented the room. I wish I could have seen that. Served him right if you ask me.

We all woke up the next day hung over as shit and covered in mud. The best part was that Scotty had no change of cloths and had to check out with the same lady downstairs he got the key from. Instead of a bathing suit this time he wore his mud soaked clothing. I FUCKING LOVE PORTLAND!

This story is 100% true. And clearly we had A FEW TOO MANY.

Hey fellow Afewtoomanians, it’s been a while since I gave you an interesting list post so I figured you deserved one. And I know everyone loves a good party every now and then but how often do you get to enjoy a good tailgating party? It is football season so some(or most) of my posts during the next few months will contain football in some way, so I’d thought I’d give you guys some good idea’s on what to bring to your pre-football game extravaganzas!

1. Cooler Stocked Full of Your Favorite Brew

This should be a no brainer, you have GOT to have beer while tailgating. I mean come on, its liquid fun in a can or bottle. Bring plenty of it, it will pump you and your boys up for the big game.

2. Patriots Jerseys

I DO NOT care what team you are going to watch(should be a pats game regardless), You should be wearing the jersey of a true football team. The New England Patriots. Anything else but a Pats jersey is trash and should be treated like it.

3. Foam Finger

Everyone loves foam fingers! They are funny and when you get drunk its fun to poke people with them. So stick it in the air, cheer for home team and poke your buddies.

4. Football

Pregame football game anyone? This is a must. Who doesn’t like to toss around the pigskin with their buddies prekickoff?

5. Snow

It’s tough to do, but going to a snow game is one of the most fun and intense ways to enjoy football. It makes playing football before the game more intense, it makes the actual game more intense, plus it help keep the beers cold if you forgot to put ice in your cooler.

6. Grill

Tailgating can be an energy consuming fiesta, how you gunna feed yourself without a way to cook?

7. Meat

So you got the grill, but now what to eat you ask? MEAT! Its the stuff men are made of. And well cows but theres nothing better than stuffing your faces with steak, chicken, burgers, hotdogs, sausages, kielbasa, anything that rhymes with delicious pretty much. BBQ Sauce and Ketchup optional.

8. Flask

Beer can get expensive once your in the stadium. It can cost up to a six pack for a single beer! A flask is discreet and can be hidden to sneak in some cheap booze. Check out this one I found, it’s a flask that looks like binoculars! Holy Shit I need one!

9. Hot Girls

This pic pretty much sums it up. And if you look long enough you’ll see words at the bottom.

Conclusion

Well Football fans, I hope your as excited about this season as I am. It should be a good year for us. By the way, what did you think about the Pats vs Bills on monday? It was a friggn nail biter! Lemme know your thoughts in the comments! Go Pats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The BoobLuge is the ultimate ice luge. Quite frankly, It’s the only luge I will ever consider again! Just simply fill the mold with water and in two days you have DD cups of icy booze pouring out supple breasts. you can buy it here.

Ok valued readers, part deuce is upon us.  If you missed part one check it out here and meet the drinkers. I’m going to get the ball rolling and just leap into this review.  I will explain step by step how we scored and tested everything first. And after that I will start going over each beer in detail. And on that note, here we go…

Scoring:

Each beer was scored to a total of 43 points. I know 43 sounds wierd, but let me explain the reasoning. We had four categories to score for each beer. Each category was scored out of 10. Category #1 was Presentation. In the presentation category we observed the head, consistency, color, clarity and aroma of the beer. Category #2 was taste, we looked for fruityness, how dry or smooth the beer was, also any metallic or yeasty tastes in the beer. Category #3 was body. For this category we asked ourselves, was this beer creamy, bubbly, hearty, thick or thin? Was it a good temperature? The final category was drinkability. With this category, we asked ourselves how many we think we could/would drink in a night. Whether we would buy a six pack or dump the rest of the bottle.

But now I know you’re asking yourself, Four Categories times 10 is only 40? How did you get 43? Well readers of AFewTooMany, there was a “Final Thought” score. It was scored from -3 to +3 and was based on the final thought of the beer in review. We also wrote a few lines for each category describing each one in a few lines to sum it up. And as the day wore on, we became more and more drunk, and the comments.. Well you’ll have to read for yourselves… I believe that covers the scoring and everything, lets jump to the first beer…

Beer One: Double Bag Long Trail

Presentation Comments

Scott: Darker, Smells Weird, Looks Tasty

Steve: Looks Delicious

Shawn: Dark and Sexy

Joe: Very well poured

Nick: Auburn color, looks like an ash tray took a shit

Taste Comments

Scott: Smooth, Wet, Harsh Aftertaste

Steve: Very Hoppy, Strong

Shawn: Sweet

Joe: Very Hoppy

Nick: Tastes like a combination of rubbing alcohol and ashes

Body Comments

Scott: Feels Decent going down, not too thick

Steve: Semi Dark, Amber Brown

Shawn: Dark, Thick and Filling

Joe: Creamy, A bit thick

Nick: Medium Thinkness, good temp, but still tastes like shit

Drinkability Comments

Scott: Would finish a couple but wouldn’t buy again

Steve: Good, wouldn’t want to drink 12

Shawn: Strong and a little harsh, only a 6 pack a night

Joe: Thick and Filling, like my cock

Nick: Never again

Final Thoughts

Scott: Smooth, Wet, Harsh Aftertaste

Steve: Taste Good, Would not want to drink too many

Shawn: Strong Hopps aftertaste

Beer Two: Sea Dog Bluepaw

Presentation Comments

Scott: Smells Great, Looks Great

Steve: Smells amazing, like beer fruit

Shawn: Bright orange, smells like lotion I rub between my girls tits before I tittyfuck her DD’s

Joe: Well Poured as usually, smells delicious

Nick:Orange & smells good

Taste Comments

Scott: Not Bitter, Not sour, good beer little fruity, no aftertaste, refreshing

Steve: Refreshing, fruity taste. Like a spritzer, with alchohol

Shawn: Very fruity taste, not too strong

Joe: Fruity taste, definitely a seasonal

Nick: A hell of a lot better than beer #1, Not too bad

Body Comments

Scott: Cold, Hearty, not thick nor thin

Steve: Smooth as freshly shaved balls

Shawn: Thin, bubbly, smooth

Joe: Bubbly beer, almost like a spritzer

Nick: Thinner and good temp

Drinkability Comments

Scott: Would buy again

Steve: Hell yeah, might get gross later, or coming up

Joe: Very easy to drink, it’s a summer beer

Nick: Would buy

Final Thoughts

Scott: Overall Great Refreshing beer

Steve: If I could imagine the smell of a smurf, this would be it

Shawn: Very delicious, I would buy 12 a week, one of my favorites

Beer Three: Haffenreffer Private Stock

Presentation Comments

Scott: Looks Good, clear, light, smells like nothing

Steve: Looks and smells like Bud light

Shawn: Bright, Light, Clear, Smells beautiful

Joe: Good

Nick: Not much of anything

Taste Comments

Scott: Tastes like nothing, not bad at all, watered down, wet, smooth

Steve: Same

Shawn: Tastes like a Bud light or a light beer

Joe: Tastes like shitty Bud light

Nick: No taste really, watered down like a son of a bitch

Body Comments

Scott: Very thin, smooth, watery

Steve: Light and Easy to drink

Shawn: Creamy, Bubbly, good light beer

Joe: It wasn’t really much of anything, Nothing special.

Nick: Thinner than Shawn’s Dick

Drinkability Comments

Scott: Could drink 30 in a row

Steve: Again, BL Smooth

Shawn: Would drink a 30

Joe: Bud light is easy to drink

Nick: Favorite So far

Final Thoughts

Scott: Would Drink again

Steve:Good light beer, Tastes fine, Nothing Special

Conclusion:

Well peeps thats the first 3 beers down. Only 12 left on this adventure. In the mean time check out what Lou’s been up to here. Wow I need one of those. As always leave your comments below. If you have any questions feel free to email me. Also check out the new Share Bar below. Feel Free to Digg or Facebook us or whatever it is you do! PEACE OUT Peeps!

Have you ever asked for a GreyGoose and wound up with what you could swear was Caldwell’s, or Rubinoff?

Well no more with the Rotgutonix Booze detector. Next time some bartender gives you that mystery cocktail. Just pull out your Rotgutonix pen and let them know you can tell what kind of alcohol is in your drink. Then you wont have to stand for bottom shelf booze.

Personally, I’ll drink anything and this would just lead me to say something like, “Just drink the drink you pussy, and if you pull that stupid fucking pen out of you pocket (or purse) you’re going to look like a total douche!”

Furthermore the pen only works with 6 different alcohols (at the moment).  Even worse is that it only works in straight drinks, no mixed drinks.  So if your not drinking straight Johnny Walker, JB, DYC, Havana Club, Pampero, or Brugal. Then you are SOL. If you are, then pull that pen out dip it in for 20 seconds and voila! Your a douche bag.

Read More Here